But he quickly added ‘Tell you what, I’ll buy them for you if you model them for me after…… and how about I give you an extra tenner to treat ...ourself with’.Yes, I know, this was all madness, I should have walked off or screamed the place down, but, heck I could save money here and earn a tenner just for letting this perv see me in my pants, seriously tempting !But he was a proper burly man and my natural instincts were kicking in, ‘Umm, I shouldn’t really be doing that’, I hesitated.‘It. One of the curious things to me about my special night out was that I never saw the bill or the cost. Somehow, my wife had paid for it and left no trail. I had been doing the same thing for the past three years. I had a secret stash that I had been funding, sort of like a Christmas Club, and she would never see the cost. I was shown a portfolio of male companions and picked two that I was certain my wife would enjoy, based upon the types of men she seemed to be attracted to (other than me, of. You smoke until you cough like you had T.B. Please, Allen, tell me?"He slumped heavily on the bed, pushing his face into his hands."I can't, Gwen. I can't. I don't know myself. I don't know why I keep thinking about it." About what?" Her voice was timid and shaky. She still remembered the pain when he had hit her that night, and instinctively reached up to touch the aching bruise."I don't want to talk about it, Gwen. A man has to work some things out for himself. Don't you understand? Are all. Somewhere along the past four decades, black men and black women began to distrust, and hate each other. Our communities were rife with conflict. We cheated on each other. We abused each other. We betrayed and manipulated each other. We denigrated each other. We betrayed ourselves. Many young black women grew up hearing their mothers, aunts and sisters stories about the worthlessness of black men. And many black men grew up hearing black women calling all black men worthless and untrustworthy..
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