My own body. I concentrated, raising "my" hand and waving at, er, me. So Marie and I hadn't swapped consciousnesses; she wasn't in my body and me in h...rs. I was in both!Just then Mom called us to dinner and the surprise snapped me back into my own body. Marie was sitting on the couch in front of me, looking confused as I stopped waving at her and put my hand down.I went upstairs to wash my hands. Mom had to call Marie to dinner again, as it seemed that my sister hadn't heard her the first time.. Things had changed between Dee and I over the next few years ,after she had a heart attack. We couldn't do the things we liked,and she was in more pain , sex with her was over .Barbra spent every other evening with us mainly caring for Dee. Many times she would tell me that she loved me and wished we could have gotten closer.. Her kisses and hugs goodbye became longer ,even Dee could see she was getting attached to me.Each time Barbra would come over, somewhere in a conversation Dee would. Anything else would have been too much. That was it, no goodbyes, nothing more. Just the pain in my chest. I tried to convince myself to be rational; it would not have worked. I was just a tool for the Elves, a breeding bull, a stud. Nothing more. I almost convinced myself of that.Yet, I stayed there long after they were gone. Long after they were gone, I felt that invisible string connected to my chest. For the first time I really felt the loss and for the first time I really understood that. Bert couldn't go with me because of his work schedule and not going was not an option for me. Parties at my company were more political events than social ones and to not attend was detrimental to your career. Besides, the annual bonuses were handed out at that party and I need to know how much mine was so I would know what I had to work with when I went shopping for Bert's Christmas present.The luck of the draw put me at a table with two couples and Brad and Charlie. Brad and Charlie were both.
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