We made dinner together - a simple pasta dish with garlic bread and asalad. We talked about the upcoming weekend, including the dinner partythat Pete...was throwing for his bosses, and talked a little bit aboutfriends and family. Normal stuff, really. It was easy banter and itfelt surprisingly natural. Again, I was encouraged by the thought thatI could actually do this - I could make it through the nine monthswithout completely losing my mind. Not bad!After dinner we sat down on the couch. "John suddenly interrupted, "Alright, Alright! Please, just stop! Weall know that I'm fucked-up, but can you answer me one vital questionso that I know how I can deal with any of this?" Of course." The Doctor was calm and smiled. "What would you like toknow?" Am I a man or a woman?"The doctor did flinch a little at this. "Technically, you are neither,John. You are, what is now known as, 'intersexed.' Your body hasattributes of both sexes. It is a genetic disposition found in one outof. It was Kara who gently pushed me to Jessica. And it’s Kara that helps me when I start to veer off the straight and narrow with Jessica.”“So she’s the glue that holds the relationship together?”“Yes, I’d say that she is,” I agreed.“Jessica has the week off, and then she has just seven weeks to go before she moves to the surgical service. She’ll still have ER work with surgical consults, but she’ll be on a less arduous schedule. Just hang in there.”“I will. I’ll do my best to have her relax this. It was the luminescence that only shines from a person who has found joy in life’s victories and pleasures, all the while demonstrating acceptance of its sorrows. She was there…standing in front of me with that same warm smile that had pierced my heart so many times during that one short month five years prior. I had found her and I had found her doing well. It had been years since I had felt so alive. Without uttering a word, in fact, without even thinking, I took her hand in mine and led her.
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