I belonged to a drama group and was asked to go to an extra rehearsal by the producer of a play but, suddenly one od the ladies who was older but attr...ctive said let's find some space and we drove of into the country. I should point out she was married and had a son of 13. Well I lost my virginity, I fell back on the stories in fiesta as I had no sex education to rely on. For a fortnight I had a brilliant time. She was and is still a person I thank everyday. However her husband go bed out it. “Can you order a gin and tonic for me, please?” a plummy English voice asked. “I am here by myself for a few days on business and am fed up with spending every night alone in my room. This is not much better though. I feel strange in a bar by myself.”“Would you like to join my wife and I at our table?” Ron ventured gallantly, at the same time running his practised eye over her.She was a complete contrast to Carmen. Fair hair, size ten, he thought, and not voluptuous like his wife but. Finally she went home. She was sorry and felt, that she had spoiled it and lost his love. If she just could act a bit more relaxed…She went to bed and was weeping until she fell asleep.On the next day after school Irene went over to his house again and talked to him. How sorry she felt and how foolish she had been. Her boyfriend saw, that he had won and asked her to promise, that she would never again deny him anything.Irene promised and swore. She felt the life and happiness back in her body. I muddle through. I struggle to maintain my composure each and every minute of my day. A day that drags on and on and gets harder and harder to get through. Each day I wonder. Each day I tell myself. I tell myself that this it is for the best. That it can’t be any other way. It has to be this way and this way only. I try to explain it to myself. I try to understand it. I try to make peace with it. I try to convince my heart that the ache, the pain, the emptiness will go away. That there will be.
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