I want tobe the woman I am inside, not just have some of the mannerisms of one. Iwant to be one of the girls screaming in the audience, not the singer...nstage at whom they are screaming."I tried, Augie, I really tried to overcome it. I even put my career onhold and joined the army in the hope of making myself into the ?real man'I was supposed to be. But it was no use. And so I resumed singing,becoming wealthier and wealthier on the outside, but emptier and emptieron the inside. It began to eat. I could almost still feel the delicious, light touch of Jackie's hand around my shaft and my jeans became uncomfortable as I grew in them.Lost in reverie, I heard Marie saying her farewells. I watched her as she packed up her things, putting them in a smart, black leather designer handbag. She put on her long slim coat and tied it about her narrow waist, giving her a pleasing little hourglass figure on top of shapely legs in sheer tights (I hoped stockings) and pristine pointed heels.On her way. “So your daughter won’t catch us,” I said. “Catch us what?” Becky asked, her voice still with that flirtatious lilt, but there was doubt in her face. “This,” I said, and took her in my arms.I figured that she had been cock teasing me for three years and, by damn, I was going to call her fucking bluff. If she had really resisted, I would have backed off, apologized, and slunk out. And she did resist at first. I had pressed her body against mine and my mouth against hers before she fully. Blood and water. Inside and outside. I was used to being the outsider, but for the first time in a long time, it hurt."I'm sorry," he told Gretchen, taking her face in his hands. "I was trying to save you. I didn't want to hurt you." He was crying himself.I turned away from them, hiding my face from her. I didn't want Gretchen to see me this way. I knew inside it was wrong, and she didn't need me adding to her problems. Right now, I had to be strong for her. I knew that, but it didn't make it.
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